The purpose of an external rule (boundary) fulfills its purpose when it moves to an internal value. It moves from being a specific rule to a universal deeper truth. The commands such as “Keep the Sabbath Holy,” are like training wheels to help us learn balance but eventual points us to a larger truth. The larger truth of that “boundary” is to see that every day is sacred and so are we. We are not beasts of burden who work constantly. Former slaves needed this law to remember who they were in a tangible rhythm so it would get in their souls. This is the journey and destination of a good boundary.
Some people are natural rule followers and some tend to want to break them. This view of boundaries can help both groups change their relationship with rules. Where do you find yourself on this spectrum?
Was there a rule you needed when you were younger that you no longer need? Can you think of an internal value that guides you now that started as a rule? Did you outgrow it or did it point to a larger truth that you now embody so the rule is irrelevant?
The purpose of a boundary is the same as a river bank. The banks of the river provide a boundary that allow the river to get to it’s destination. If the river banks erode or wasn’t there the land would flood. Is there any area of your life that feels “flooded” that need some boundaries? Any next steps you can take?
Some of us can’t build our own boundaries and need help. Where we don’t have an internal value we need external boundaries. If our finances are a wreck we need a budget to clearly define how we use money. If we have unhealthy eating habits we need clear boundaries around our food choices. Is there any flooded area of life that you know you need outside help with in setting boundaries because you are stuck? Who can help you create that boundary? What do you need to do there?